When I was in school my teacher always told me that the school is the only important part "this is your turning point", rest of your life will be easy, so I took the turn. Then I went to do my 10+2 and I heard them saying this is the most important part of your life "10+2 is the turning point", so I turned again. Then I entered engineering and I heard the same story again and I turned again as usual. Now after doing my masters I turned and looked back, all these turns made a big 'O'. Now I finished my Masters, and I still don't know where I am going. I am standing at the same place where I started.
The present biggest issue in my life is 'identity'. What am I? Where do I stand? Am I a good person? A bad person? Or a person with really no existence? What people think about me, is it the truth? Or what I think that people think about me is the truth? Does my existence, in any way, matter to other (apart from my parents) people around me? Do they really want me in their life? Or do I do any good by being in their life? Does the people who behave very well to me, really mean it? Or is it that they just don't want to hurt me by saying the truth? They say everyone is born for a destiny, what is mine? Where will I find it? Do I really have one? Or was I born for nothing? Huff lots lots and lots of questions. But not even a single answer. May be this is the outcome of the frustration that is growing inside me because of unemployment.
Talking about destiny, this word is somewhere related to god, isn't it? I mean its god who decides our destiny, right. But deep down somewhere, I am a hardcore atheist. Is it apt for me to talk about destiny. Atheist don't believe in God, so they shouldn't believe in destiny too, right. But the problem is I believe that for a human being the fellow human being is god. Huff I don't know what I am thinking. I am spending most of my days, finding the answers for these questions. Really, someone said so much right that empty mind is devil's workshop.
I don't know whether anyone will be interested, and even bother to post a comment on this post. But it feels so good and relief after writing this. I want to continue this writing for long. I want to make it interesting too. No matter what the response is.
